To start, I ordered the "Red tuna: Cubes of red tuna and vegetables / artichoke, red tuna and soya sauce on toast / curried fruit and vegetable smoothie with olive oil". This was pretty weird - fridge cold slices of raw tuna topped slightly soggy pieces of toast and the tuna cubes floating around in a cold curry sauce was rather unpleasant. Reading back on the menu description I'm not sure what I was expecting really - I was blind-sided by my love of raw tuna.
My main was rather more delicious: "Veal « Palais Royal »: Head and tongue of veal / braised veal cheek /Lentil and herb salad". The meat was tender and succulent, yielding gently underneath my fork. Unfortunately, the lentils were aggressively salted. In contrast, my companion's dish was woefully underseasoned. Perhaps she should have smothered her beef tartare with the lentils. When we complained to the waitress, she looked at us witheringly and said "we don't usually get negative comments about our food. Maybe it's not your style". She's quite lucky she didn't end up with my fork embedded in her face.
We then decided, to get a really rounded experience, we'd have a dessert to share. Having heard that the "Malabar: Bubble gum ice cream / lemon Wurtz / orange blossom marshmallow / pannacotta /crispy green tea" was popular, we thought it best to try this. We were instructed to mix the plate up, which made it look rather like a plate of sick. Upon the second mouthful, my friend made an "errrummpphhh!" kind of noise. I looked at her with horror. She pulled two shards of plastic out of her mouth. At this point, it really was so farcical that all I could do was howl with laughter much to the disgruntlement of our neighbours. It really was the last straw. The manager was apologetic and looked disappointed. Our bill was heavily discounted.
So, when we were offered a complimentary meal, we pondered whether or not to come. But then, I think if a restaurant has ballsed something up so royally, we should give them another chance.
We were treated rather differently. A lovely glass of Champagne in the bar adjacent to the dining room allowed us to catch up over various amusing anecdotes of the weekend passed. We were then seated at a table for just the two of us. Cocktails were proffered, wine was placed on the table, and our meal commenced.
To finish, we decided on "Dessert for two: Coconut lollipop / prunes / pear and Yuzu / fruit tart / blackcurrant biscuit". Probably a case of eyes bigger than our bellies, but in the name of the full experience, we soldiered on.
It's been hard to write about this meal. Our first visit was almost ridiculous, but the way Sketch made up for it was exemplary. The service was impeccable throughout; napkins were picked up and folded on the chair for absent occupiers without making us feel like we were being watched. There was no sign of our nemesis waitress. I'm not sure I would visit again because even though I enjoyed many elements of the food such as the oysters and scallops, there were others which I found misjudged and borderline repulsive - after the first or second taste, I left that Roquefort off my lamb.
However, both times the dining room was packed with beautiful people and people genuinely seemed to be enjoying their meals. Perhaps the waitress was right, and Gagnaire's food is just not my style.
Sketch
9 Conduit Street
London
W1S 2XG
Tel: 0207 659 4500
For Helen's report of the experience, see here.
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